i'm back!

I am back again.

No blogging form 11 months. That's quite long. I must keep this space alive for whatever small purpose it has. Was busy growing my little kid...he is 1 year 2 months now. But this is not an excuse for not writing posts here. At many instances I just wanted to scribble here, but didn't have much to do so.

Growing kid with good human values is always a challenge. Kids are the future. Society has big responsibility to grow kids with good value so that they can support the nation in the future. I am scared with kind of education they impart on kids in school. Too much of discipline is also not good. Whenever a society becomes weak, it becomes disciplined. I don't want to enforce my kid to be topper or genius in the school, if it doesn't happen naturally. Neither want school/teacher to do so.

These days have been watching Chandraguta Maurya at ndtv imagine. Chanakya was really a great person. He had a purpose in the life that was of great value socially. Now if someone ask - what should be the purpose of life? According to me, life at it's natural, doesn't need any purpose. The life itself is sufficient to fulfill all its purposes. But this will be too theoretically or rather impractical answer as we live in an practical world. So to get the life going in a practical sense it should have a purpose. And if it all it has to have a purpose it should be great. But again, this greatness of purposes can be highly directive. Whoever has created history in human civilization must had a purpose. They had a purpose in life. A big purpose. And they worked very hard for that purpose. They lived for that purpose. Be it Alexander, Napoleon, Chandragupta Maurya or whoever you name it. And I think our education system doesn't teach to have great purpose in life.

Education

What is the purpose of education? Study and just earn? Our current education is not complete. It mostly gives stress on the intellect. The more intellectual you are, the better student you are - is what society has taught us. To me intellect is like an ash. I give 0 value to intellect. According to me, the more intelligence you have the more problem you will face. What does intelligence mean? It simply means you can think deep and fast. It means your brain perform more chemical reaction. You are able to analyze more. But does it matter to totality? Does it bring happiness? It doesn't. Totality is infinite and standstill. Your intelligence can solve some problem can perform some calculation, can think of some innovations. Take example of Einstein. He was very intelligent. He discovered few laws. But the laws were always there. Whether you discover it or not. You found that law and you moved in that direction. But, there was other directions also. We missed that. There is always an another direction. Take any direction. And trust me you would never know which direction is good. Actually, there is nothing called good or bad. Society creates good or bad. All these socialists create good and bad. Existence doesn't create good or bad. Existence creates only pure existence. But, society comes and starts attributing by good and bad. If I were God, I would like to remove adjectives from parts of speech. Lol. You can't imagine how much harm has happened due to adjectives. Because, these socialists themselves don't know the full story. They know, but a little. They have some idea. Some foggy idea. So they keep on contaminating your mind by teaching is that - this is good, that is bad etc. It has not started today. It has been running since ages. According to me society has never thought even for fraction of second with cool and calm head. Society has been always in hurry. As if a train is missing. There never realized that there is always a next train. Pick a random person and just look into his eyes. You can see whole of the society in him. He is a fruit of society. He is a creation of society. That's how society has prepared him. He is searching something, as if something is lost. Only thing society has taught you is to walk, is to move. They always showed you the path. They never showed you the destination. Because, those teacher and those educationist and those socialist themselves don't know the destination. Only thing they know is the journey, a milestone. Perhaps they think journey is the destination. So they keep on educating you, imparting their ideals on you. But, there is a trick here. A propaganda I would say. Society taught you in a tricky manner. At present, you think that all your ideology is your thinking. But, actually it's something like this - society taught you that you think that it's your ideology. Whatever ideology you have - society taught you to think that it's your ideology. That's why you think that it's your ideology. But, actually it's not yours. It's society's ideology. Society played a propaganda here. Which you will never understand. Because, you were not allowed to understand. Many things has not been revealed to you.

Education which doesn't free you is lame. Our formal education is pathetic. I have not met a single teacher who knows what's happening around. In my childhood a junk teacher was used to come my home to teach me. He used to slap suddenly. And that too very hard. A sudden hard slap on the chick. It was very painful. Such teacher should not be allowed to teach. But, society is always worried of bread so some junk teacher are allowed to teach. If you teach in the wrong manner the people like Hitler will be produced. If you teach that Jew's are bad then Hitler will be produced. Hitler's education was very important factor in him becoming the most destructive person of the last century. By education I don't only mean what you study in the schools and colleges. By education, I mean anything which changes your consciousness. Kids should be taught in the proper manner by proper teacher.

My Education - Part 2

I studied till Intermediate (10+2) in Muzaffarpur. A small town. My first school I remember was "Aadarsh Vidyalaya". I was in nursery. The school is non-existent. I still remember practising for independence day and republic day. Amazing were those days. The school was walkable from my home. Then went to "National Public School". Studied there class 2 and 3. I remember one tutor used to teach me that time. That was a damn. Then studied 4Th and 5Th in Jupiter Public school. In Jupiter public school they used to prepare me for various entrance exams like Sainik School, Netarhat, RIMC etc. Then my dad shifted me to a better school - Shishu Shiksha Kendra. This school was one of the costliest school of Muzaffarpur. It was situated near Jubba Sahani Park, Miscot lane. I learnt a lot here in this school. I have changed lots of school in my life. Finally, I cleared the first written test of Netarhaat. But could not clear the second test. Second test was just objective based. First test was subjective. So, I thought, if I can clear subjective test then why not objective? Perhaps I didn't prepare well for the second test. I really really wanted to study into Netarhaat Vidyalaya. But could not. Failure in Netarhaat exam was one of the biggest sadistic time of my life. I had totally broken from within. Then took admission straight into class 9Th in Zila school. Zila school is only for boys. Because in course of preparation had finished 8Th classs syllabus. Zila school was total fun. Zila school is almost 2 KM from my home. School fee was Rs 3 twice a month. Very cheap. But the study was also cheap. We used to go to school, and after attendance come out of class, and play in the field. Zila school has very big play ground. Then we used to play cricket till afternoon. I used to be busy talking with friends. I remember, I would have hardly attended 20-30 class during 2 year in zila school. We do not study in school but we had tutions. we had morning tution by Mr. D Pandey sir of the same school. He used to teach, Physicas, Maths, Adv Maths and Chemistry on thin paper-carbon. He was incharge of computer lab of school. He showed us the computer first time. It was a black and white screen. Dont know what OS. Perhaps DOS? Then after morning tution we rush to school and gossip, play, watch girls on the way. Basically, Girl's high school Chapman is very close to Zila school. And we knew the timings of Chapman. When a bell rangs in chapman you can hear them in zila school. I (with my friends) used to go home when girls also used to go their home. We synchronize our timings with them. Roads used to get jammed by girls. They walk in groups. Like 4-5 girls will walk together. And teachers in zila school were hilarious. They come to school and sleep. Good for us. That way we get ample time to play. The most funny part was quarterly exams. Whose result were never declared. You can bring all the chits in the exams. Even I also used to bring chits in the exam. Not even chits you can bring books also in exam. My performance was bad in the 9Th class. May be out of frustration of not getting into Netarhaat. But, finally in matric I secured 2Nd position in the school of 700 boys. Everybody was shocked. I was most shocked. There were 4-5 guys. Good guys I would say. Everyone were expecting these guys would top. The guy who topped in my school was extraordinary. A thin guy. He used to come to school only on the fee collection day. That is twice a month. We used to go to get his "Darshan". Lol.

Then came L S College. Studying into L S college was even more horrible. By that time pressure of JEE started building up. I had 2 separate turions for Physics, Chemistry and Mathematics. All at different places. Apart from that I took Brilliant tutorial study material for JEE. Brilliant tutorial is all junk. In my time. I dont know the current status. Life shrinked to books. Books become life. Then life became artificial. Like a machine. A huge rat race started. And I just participated in the race. I had no choice. A race which is never going to end. That put me into an non-ending race. Joined E & ECE at IIT Kharagpur. The father of all IITs. My rank was shh it, so I got dual degree. 5 Year course. My dad got a headache oh it's a 5 year course? Why did you take this course? One more year extra study? I learnt many thing into KGP. I am grateful to KGP. I am not talking of academic learning. Thing I learnt in KGP is there is always a better student. Always. If I am good, then someone else is better than me, someone else is better than him. And it goes on and on. Even if you are PGM, there still exist a better student. So, I understood PGM is not the solution. I will cover my stay in KGP in some other post. It's very long. 5 Years.

Now coming to philosophical part. Above was a story. Intelligence is diversified. Usability could be different. Society has always worried about practicality and usability. Society is like bunch of sheep. It goes on and on. But where? Society has not idea of that. It just goes. Society has huge inertia. Huge prejudice. An accumulated inertia of 5000 years. Have you ever thought the relationship between society and GOD? Society talks about god. But it's not much worried about it. It's more worried about usefulness. You should be useful. In some way. Then society will like you. Society always taught you do something useful. Have you ever done something which is not useful? This teaching has penetrated deep into the consciousness of the people. It keeps the mind active. You have something which is useful to society, then you are in demand. Society always works on usability. I am still discovering why does society give so much stress on usefulness? Society feels insecure? As of now I see love is absent. Love is the only way to secure you. Brain cannot secure you. Love can secure you. Einstein has a brain which was useful to society. That's why he is respected among society. He may not be respected in the kingdom of GOD. But society will respect him. Because he has something what society needs. There are many things which Einstein cannot do that. But that's okay. Society doesn't need it. If you ask Einstein to do mental binary multiplication of two 64 bit arbitrary number, can he do that? I guess he cannot. Even if he can do with 64 bits can he do with 100000000000 bits? He cannot. But the person who can do such thing may not be useful to society. So, it's kind of matter of chance that What Einstein can do society needs it. There are many thinker. Who can think much deeper than Einstein. But they think in different direction. Of which society has no idea. So, those people are not in demand. But there exist such people. Society moves in a direction. These people think in exactly opposite direction. The do have some consensus. But the approach is opposite.

Day by day, moment by moment society learns to survive better. That I believe. Next day should always be a better day. That's the purpose of today. When I use the word Society - I should be specific. Society in the west is different than the culture in the east. Have you ever thought why Jews are so intelligent? Remember, a society is always biased by it's religion. Judaism is a practical religion. That's the one reason there are no so called enlightened person in the Jews. They can be good scientist, thinkers, business men etc. But not the enlightened one. Their concept of enlightenment may be different. But it doesn't fit into our definition of enlightenment. Judaism cannot produce people like Jesus, Buddha and Mahavir. No possibility. They will produce Einstein. Einstein also thinks. Buddha also thinks. But the approach is different. Now Einstein's thinking is useful to society. Buddha's thinking may not be that useful to society. Because Buddha hits on absoluteness. And as I said, society doesn't worry much about absoluteness. It does acknowledge absoluteness. But it doesn't worry about it. Doesn't strive for it. I am not condemning anyone. However, they do have absolute definition of GOD. They definition of GOD matches with our BRAHMAN concept. The best thing I noticed in the Judaism is they say every work is sacred. They try to bring holiness in every action. So far them each act is godliness. However in Hinduism they have separated it. They separated temples with houses. So when you are in house you are no doing godly activity. But when you are in temple - you are doing godly activity. This divide a person. His consciousness is divided. But that's not the case in Judaism. There every action is holy. Better. They believe in "We". Hinduism is "I". Essentially Hinduism is all about I-ness. It doesn't care much on We-ness. They believe if every "I" is good then "We" is automatically good. Because "We" is comprised of "I". But when "I" sees "We" it feels very feeble. This happens in Hinduism. Because the "I" am talking about is the absolute I. Not the "I" you know. Concept of Hinduism is very nice somehow it cannot be applied in its completeness to everybody. That's where the problem comes. The only solution I see is that every body has to move in one direction together without any exceptions. That direction could be Love. Could be compassion. But certainly it cannot be mind.

More later. There is still much more to talk. But the post has become too lengthy :)

My Education

Last weekend was full of chess. This post is about my education.
Education which doesn't free you is lame. Our education system is bulky. Education we had/having bind us. It doesn't free us. It makes us more knowledgeous. Knowledge in general boosts ego. The knowledge we have is all bookish. Bookish knowledge is not absolute. It's just a kind of information. You read those black lines and the information is stored in your neurons. That' it. Civilization has come coward. So you think the more you know, they more work you do your situation will be better. But that never happens. In my 10Th class I was crazy on study. I studied like anything. 16-17 hours per day. I had immense craze in mathematics and physics. I solved Irodov, Krotov, Resnick-Halliday, Tipler and many more...In my childhood, I used to dream about Nobel prize. Now, I don't want Nobel prize till my next 1 billion life time (if any ;)). That's what the change has happened in me. My attitude has changed totally. Now to me book is like an ash. When fire is finished, ash remains. That's what the book is - for me.
Till 8Th std. I was counted as an average student. That time didn't heard of IIT. Life was peaceful. It was going on. Was playing cricket in the evening. There was no future. No milestones. Only present was there. All problem started when I heard of IIT. Cricket stopped :(. When I got 99% marks in maths in matric. Wish I were lucky to get just 30% marks in maths. I would be more happy. I really really really really hate 99% marks. This was the highest marks in Bihar board. Then my dad thought I am an intelligent student. So, he asked me to prepare for JEE. He is right in his own way. I am thankful to him. But, he didn't know that I might be the most foolish student who ever walked on the earth. Because for me - Intelligence and foolishness is same. Different attributes of mind. But still mind. My real journey begins when mind drops. As long as mind is active - then it's a drama. I have no interest in that. Then gradually future started building up. Then the milestones started appearing. And the moment you start seeing milestone, a journey, a destination - you are gone. Because, there is always a next milestone. To me, now there is no journey, no destination, no milestones. My marching is over. I marched. I marched a lot. And only thing I learnt by marching and marching that you don't get anything out of marching. Marching is like a mirage. It leads nowhere. But, it does appear to lead somewhere. An apparent reality. Not the absolute reality.
To be frank, I never wanted to touch a book ever. I wanted to enjoy. To celebrate the existence. I just touched it to meet social expectations. Family expectations. The biggest question they ask is - what will you do if you don't study? Now this is a stupid question asked by stupid people to the stupid people. I am not stupid. As if I have taken birth to do something. What can I do? Who has done so far? Name me a single person in the entire history who had done anything good? Good or bad, finally, they all went to their grave. Death comes and take away everything you have. All these problems is due to death. If people don't die - then what you are saying makes sense. Then you go on making money. Go on reading books. No one is going to stop you. Remember one thing, today is only for today. Tomorrow might be different.
I wanted and still want an education which can free me. Which doesn't boost my ego. Lets imagine if education doesn't give job. Who will study? No one will study. So, there is an incentive in the education. That, you get a job. I wanted incentive free education. But society has always lured you. By giving some incentive. Which for some reason is enough for your survival. But you miss to become infinite. As I said, society doesn't want you to be infinite. They want you to behave like an obedient slave.

Never show your intelligence to your elder relatives. There are reason behind this. Take an example of your mom. Your mom has seen you when you were infant. When you couldn't even walk that time. They made you walking. They taught you A, B, C D...So for them you will be always a kid no matter how intelligent you are. Because, they have seen you dragging in the dust. They wont believe you. My mom says, I used to eat ants, soils etc. Who will trust a person who used to eat soil ever? That's the one reason why great great people are not easily recognized where they grew up. Because they have seen their childhood. They saw you toppling in the mud. They get shocked. This happend with BUDDHA also. Wish Jesus also. When BUDDHA went to meet his father after his enlightenment. His father was thinking and behaving like earlier. Buddha gave many logic. But Shudhodana could't understand. He can't. Because he taught Siddhartha how to walk. In the city of Nazareth people used to call Jesus - he is the same shapherd. They can't imagine a shepherd becoming infinite. Similar thing happend with Krishna also. So, friends never show your intelligencey to elder people. Especially who have seen your childhood. They won't buy your any argument. They will simply neglect it. :)